12 years ago, I gave birth to my 9th child more than 16 weeks early. Life suddenly became a lot more challenging. I wanted to see our very sick baby as much as I could but I had 8 children at home who also needed me. I was also trying to pump valuable breast milk for her and sleep was in short supply. There was so much uncertainty. We didn't know if our baby would survive and if she did, what her life would look like. What disabilities would she likely have? Our bishop gave her a blessing the day she was born that brought me a lot of hope but the health crises that she continued to have and some of the doctors' lack of optimism made it challenging to hold onto the hope. After about 11 days, she had a bowel perforation which required her to go to a hospital an hour away which made it harder to visit and supervise her care. I didn't get to hold my baby for the first two months of her life because her health was so fragile. Adding to the c...