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She Will Find What is Lost: A True Story


This October there was an article in BYU Studies (Vol. 58, No. 3, p. 78-97) about a woman who had contracted hepatitis C from blood transfusions that happened when she was young and had another serious illness.  The treatment for hepatitis C required her to take 11 months of strong drugs which had the serious side effect of causing significant depression and suicide ideation. She delayed the treatment for several months as she researched her options but eventually started the treatment.  The side effects were much worse than she had imagined despite also taking anti-depressants.

As the medications took effect, she lost hope and was full of despair. She prayed regularly for God to end her life.  She felt she was a burden to her family, that she was not good enough, that she was not worthy of being healed. Voices in her head told her that if she was really courageous, she would end her life.  Her husband was unaware of how terrible the depression was since she didn’t tell him. She couldn’t feel the influence of the Holy Ghost, a common side effect to depression.

About six months into the ordeal, her prayers were answered in an unexpected way.  One day she recalled a scripture in 2 Chronicles related to the story of the Assyrians surrounding the Israelites.  The answer to the Israelites was this scripture, Be not afraid of the king of Assyria, for behold, there be more with us than with him.  As this woman contemplated this scripture, the thought came to her that there were more with her than against her. “She perceived a chain of spirit beings stretching out above her whom she understood to be family members.  These were people she had known who had already died and people who had not yet been born but who were interested in her welfare. She could sense they were aware of her loneliness--they knew her and cared about her. They loved her.  She understood from them that it was not her time to die and that she had much to live for, including a young family who also loved her.” Later she was praying to know that God knew how hard this was for her. The answer came as a calm voice that said, “I do. I know this is hard. And I’m sorry.”  Those experiences helped her survive this terrible time and gave her the hope to carry on.

Some years later they came to Utah for a visit and were in a Deseret Book store where the painting called “She Will Find What is Lost” was being displayed in a limited edition series.  It immediately spoke to her as she recognized that it portrayed the experience that she had had of seeing this chain of people ministering to her. She and her husband ended up shortly thereafter buying the original painting and donating it to the church so that it could be displayed in the Conference Center where many people can see and enjoy it.  The artist, Brian Kershisnik, says about the painting, “Many unseen forces are interested in you, love you, and work to influence matters for your profound benefit. Most of what we all do is resist it, misinterpret it, or mess it up, but my experience indicates that these unseen efforts persist impossibly. I thank God for that.”

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