Forgiveness

 I have recently become an admirer of a woman named Becky Douglas. She founded a charity called Rising Star which is a non-profit organization to support individuals living with leprosy in India.  Among other things, they provide medical services for people with leprosy as well as sponsor a school for children who live in leper colonies. They also support leper colonies by doing microloans and helping people become self-reliant. The way she got started in this work is quite interesting.

Becky's oldest daughter Amber had severe bipolar disease. Amber struggled with it for many years making numerous suicide attempts.  She survived them and seemed to be doing better until finally the disease won when Amber was in her late 20's. As Becky and her husband were going through her daughter's possessions, they found that Amber had been donating to an orphanage in India despite her limited income as a student. So Becky decided she should go visit this orphanage in India as a tribute to her daughter. Becky went and was overwhelmed by all the beggars she saw there, many of them with leprosy. She thought since leprosy can be cured and the government gives the treatment for free, there shouldn't be any cases of leprosy in India. She kept thinking, Somebody should do something! Finally she realized, it needed to be her. So Becky founded Rising Star over 19 years ago and it continues to do a lot of good in the world. We are currently sponsoring a student in India through the program--it only costs $31 a month--and I am quite satisfied that our money is being well-used. We had a video call with this student just a few weeks ago and she seemed so happy, hard-working and grateful for all she has been given. 

Becky frequently writes articles for Meridian Magazine, a daily email newsletter, and I always enjoy her articles. Today she wrote an article about forgiveness:  Forgiving the Unforgiveable.  In that article she told two stories about forgiveness, one from her life and one from someone else's.  I can't really do it justice but I will summarize the story from Becky's life.

This story involves her daughter Amber. Amber was in one of her periods of doing well managing her disease when suddenly her boyfriend broke up with her. Amber was devastated. Almost immediately, she decided to move in with a co-worker (called Chelsea in the article) from a restaurant where she worked. Right away, she started changing. Her clothing and language became inappropriate. She became antagonistic to the LDS church she had grown up in and stopped attending. They couldn't even mention the church around her because she would blow up. Amber also seemed to be returning to her depression and suicidal thoughts. Amber's mother Becky considered the co-worker to be the major reason for Amber's change for the worse. Then Amber announced that she and the co-worker were getting married! Becky had never considered Amber to be gay given her previous attraction and behavior towards boys. This was very hard to accept and Becky considered Chelsea to be like the devil, taking advantage of Amber at a vulnerable time.

Finally, Amber decided to break things off. When Becky asked why, Amber admitted she wasn't really gay. Amber decided she needed to move away for a while so that she could make this break-up complete. After she had been away for a few months, she called Becky and told her that Chelsea had called her and told her she was homeless and had no money and really needed help. Apparently Amber had been the one supporting Chelsea when they were living together. Amber asked Becky to help Chelsea so Amber could stay where she was. Since Becky didn't want them back together, she agreed even though she had very negative feelings towards Chelsea.

Remarkably, Becky invited Chelsea to stay in their home while she got her life back together. It turned out that Chelsea's mother had died when she was very young and her father had been negligent so Chelsea had not learned how to take care of herself, to cook, or to manage her money. So Becky taught her all those things--how to cook, how to ride a bike, how to be socially appropriate, how to exercise and eat healthfully, along with learning better personal hygiene. Along the way, they all learned to love Chelsea. When they helped her get her own apartment and she moved out, Chelsea told Becky she was like the mother she never had and they were both crying. 

Becky felt like God gave her a gift--an opportunity to learn how to love someone that she previously hated. Read the whole thing: Forgiving the Unforgiveable.