Drew's Funeral

Yesterday was the viewing for Drew and then today was the funeral. There were a LOT of people at the viewing. Bruce and Michelle greeted people for almost four hours yesterday and then again this morning before the funeral. Bruce said that if weren't for Drew's death, it would be the best week of his life with so much love being shown to them.

Friday actually began with a family run in Drew's honor. We started at a church by the new Lindon temple and ran to Bruce and Michelle's house with breakfast following.

Friday night was the viewing. There was a very nice display of all things Drew.

This was one of the pictures displayed and I recognized someone I know:

We stood in line and the paramedics who worked on Drew stood in line behind us so we got to talk to them. Here's a fun fact:  They cover both Orem and Vineyard but Vineyard gets a lot more 911 calls than Orem per capita. It's a younger population and they are quicker to call. They said it's hard when they can't save someone, especially someone young like Drew. So coming to the viewing/funeral is helpful for closure. They got the Zoom link for the funeral.

Lana and Mika got tired of standing in line after a while so Miles and Charlotte took their place.

Mika and some of her cousins:

Saturday morning was the funeral followed by the graveside ceremony and then a large family luncheon. We had a family prayer before the funeral offered by Bruce. We also practiced for the cousin choir before that.

All of Drew's siblings spoke (except for Nyla) with Thys' email being read by his cousin Colby Carter. Drew's parents also spoke along with my father and the bishop.

Brief Summaries of the Talks:

Mika:  Drew was the best little brother. He always said yes to whatever I wanted to do. He played games and danced with Nyla. He taught me how to get the dino nuggets just right; he was my soccer coach and my ping-pong coach. When my cousin died two years ago, I was mad at God. I didn't understand why he had to die. But when Drew died, instead of hating God, I focused on all the good He gave me. I got to spend the whole week before Drew died hanging out at FSY with him. I thought of the hours and hours we spent working on duets together, making snow forts, racing to school, his comments at scripture time. I can't wait to see him again with a huge smile on his face welcoming me home.

Lana:  I learned so many lessons from Drew. He loved to build things and make origami. He was dedicated to everything he did. He did his chores without complaining and made the most out of every situation. He loved the snow. He was loving and showed it by his actions. He came to my meets and cheered me on. I'm so grateful for the plan of salvation and I know I will see him again.

Thys:  So many tender mercies have come since I found out that Drew died. Drew was going to be greater than either Clyn or me. 

"The last time I talked with Drew I remember him showing me his Legos, his toys, the origami he made, all of which he was so proud of. I remember looking at him and realizing that one day he would grow up, leave his childhood, leave his toys, maybe make bad decisions, get into social media, maybe develop addictions, and I was so worried. I feard that one day someone so good, and so innocent would be ruined. That they would have to face the pain and sorrow brought by a fallen world. And maybe God felt that way too. Maybe God felt that Drew had accomplished everything he needed to, he was so Christlike after all, so God took him to the only place where He could keep him safe. Where he could still grow, still learn, and still support his family,  without facing the risk of being tainted by this world. I will not see Drew for a long time, but I know that he is safe. Love you Drew poo."

Cousin choir:

Clyn:  I'm so proud of my brother Thys for staying on his mission. We're grateful for all your visits and hope you keep coming over. Drew had the best laugh and was the most ticklish ever. When we were young, we were driving in the car and Drew wanted the markers but no one was helping him. So he got them himself and then said, "Well, voila, here are the markers." Here is how Drew reflected the Savior. 1.  He included everyone. Invited people to build with him.

2.  He was grateful. Whenever we went somewhere he thanked Mom and Dad for taking us. He wrote a note to his mother that said, Dear Mom, thank you for taking care of me and for the food you make and not buying fast food.

3. Suffering is sacred. Drew loved running cross country. To run faster you have to suffer. "We don't choose trials but the road to the celestial kingdom somehow always winds through Gethsemane." (Elder Holland) Joseph Smith suffered for something higher than himself. God wants us to overcome trial and become stronger. I wanted to withdraw into myself after hearing the news but I could hear Christ saying, Could you not watch with me one hour? I thought of Mary and Martha rushing to tell Christ that their brother was dead. Christ told them, I am the resurrection and the life.

Michelle:  In his short life, Drew saw a total eclipse, a worldwide pandemic, and an earthquake. Drew was my life coach. When he was 4, he said, Probably people can't believe that Nyla is only 2 because she can sit up and do all these other things. Another time, Drew said, When I grow up I want to be like Uncle Kurt. Michelle asked, Why? Do you want to play the piano well like he does? Drew said, No, I want to be really good at video games like he is. "I want to be like Dad when I grow up and not cheap like Mom." Another quote, "You don't have to brag about how spiritual you are, Mom." "Let's hope this is just a phase."

I'm very grateful that Drew was very obedient. Because I knew he would obey a sign about not climbing the cherry tree at my parents' house, I put the sign up and then drove past the place where Drew had collapsed which meant I was there probably as his spirit was leaving his body. 

Drew never made fun of people. He didn't love tennis but he would go play with me to humor me. He walked home from school without complaining. He forgave me freely when I messed up. His purpose in life was to help me be a better person. I can practice being a better friend. He loved to end his practice sessions by playing Avatar and Pokemon. Now Drew is airbending and teleporting. I'm grateful for my gospel knowledge.

Bruce: Hamlet quote which I (Bruce) recently reread. Not only our family has suffered this great loss but the whole world has suffered a significant loss with Drew's death. So much lost potential came with his death. Drew was my best friend. He was always willing to go camping, skiing, and watch old movies with me. We went to Coyote Gulch in a epic trip. Countless dreams were left on the sidewalk last Friday. So it's fair to ask the question, Why? Doesn't God have all the spirits he needs to preach the gospel? In the end, the only answer I am left with is faith. In the end, none of us know when our moment of fate will arrive. None of us know when we will be called. Drew was ready in his moment and we need to be ready for ours. To Drew, I love you and miss you. I don't know why you had to leave but I hope to be ready when I see you again.

 Gary Hansen: Beethoven had a friend named the Baroness who lost a young son. Other friends came to comfort her but not Beethoven which hurt her since they were good friends. A few weeks later, he came to her house and without saying anything, he sat down at the piano and played and played. As he played, the Baroness felt she could see her poor dear child being welcomed into realms of light. After an hour, he left again without saying anything. It is appropriate to comfort those who are mourning. The time after the funeral is the time of emptiness when we need to keep comforting. We have covenanted to mourn with those who mourn. But ultimately emptiness can only be cured by the Savior of the world. The Lord provides peace.

Since the good die young, Brother Watabe and I have been wondering why we haven't died yet. Wilford Woodruff lost a son who drowned in the Bear River. He wondered why this son had to die. He prayed for answers and an angel appeared to him. The angel asked him which of his sons he would choose to preach the gospel to his ancestors?  After thinking for a minute, Wilford Woodruff named the son who had died. The angel disappeared. We prepare our sons to go on missions. They go and we hope that they serve the whole two years and that they don't return early. But we also hope they return. We want them to come back. Some good friends of ours served a mission in New York. While they were there, they met another missionary couple who had lost a son while he was serving a mission. The husband had been able to move forward but the wife had not. She continued to grieve. One day while she was in the temple, her son appeared to her and told her to stop grieving. He was teaching the people that she was performing ordinances for in the temple. Brother Watabe and I imagine that Drew and his cousin Luke are companions together in the spirit world or maybe in the same district. Perhaps their great-grandfather who was a pioneer in the church in Japan is their mission president. When I go to the other side, I hope that Drew will teach me how to be a good missionary.

Bishop Nelson:  I'm grateful for life. The key is to look at Christ. Our method is faith. No man comes to the Father but by me. The trial of our faith can be these life-changing experiences. If you love me, keep my commandments. The plan of salvation is real. Drew is in a wonderful place and surrounded by goodness because he was good. He is with God. I looked in Drew's scriptures and found a sticky note that said:  1. Read the scriptures daily. 2. Open and close the day with prayer. 3. Go to church every week. 4. Keep the commandments. These experiences can bring light and joy.

Many, many people sent lovely flowers. This bouquet my mother is standing in front of was sent by a friend--a penpal--my mother has made in Japan named Hiroko.

Their ward went all out and provided a delicious lunch from Costa Vida with an amazing dessert bar.

Shortly before the lunch, we were able to get a picture of all my siblings and my parents which we haven't been able to do for a long time. Kurt's eyes look like they're closed but they're not.

I wish I had gotten more pictures of Bruce and Michelle visiting with the many people who came to support them. And of the relatives at the luncheon. But it happened even if I didn't get a picture of it.