I have to admit that I don't particularly enjoy the preparations for Christmas. The list of things I need to do seems so long. I worry about disappointing my children with their gifts on Christmas morning. I worry about buying things that will really be useful or enjoyable for all the people on my list. Do we really need more junk in our house? Once I decide what I'm going to get, then I have to find it at a price I'm willing to pay and soon enough to get packages shipped to relatives living far away. It all seems so complicated.
Because there are four birthdays in our family during December (two boys and two in-laws), I have tried to do a lot of my shopping in November so I don't get completely overwhelmed. But this year I rebelled and worked on other projects. Now I'm paying for it and it's a little stressful.
But I don't really want Christmas to take over November as well as December so how do I solve this problem? Hoping for a few ideas, I recently read Unplug the Christmas Machine: A Complete Guide to Putting Love and Joy Back into the Season by Jo Robinson and Jean Coppock Staeheli. It's an older book, published in 1991. It had some interesting ideas.
First of all, they define the Christmas Machine as the commercialism in the holiday which started ramping up shortly after World War I. If you're a Little House on the Prairie fan, you know that their Christmas was very simple. The little girls got a piece of candy, a tin drinking cup, a penny, and an orange. This was actually a challenge for their parents to provide because they lived so far from town and the weather was bad, not to mention what they could afford. I have to say, I wouldn't mind having such a simple Christmas although I'm not really longing for the Little House lifestyle.
How do I help my children ramp down their expectations? This book claims that what children really want at Christmas is four things:
1. Relaxed time with their families
2. Realistic expectations about gifts
3. Evenly paced holiday season (not having everything happen on Christmas morning)
4. Reliable family traditions
They ask you to think about how much time you spend with your children in December, excluding Christmas and Christmas Eve, compared with the rest of the year. Is it more or less? They suggest pacing your traditions so that predictable events happen through the month of December. I feel like we do reasonably well with that: decorating the tree near the beginning of the month, making gingerbread houses halfway through the month, etc. I really don't think I go overboard in decorating, baking, etc. And I don't think I go overboard with gifts either, but I still want to simplify more.
They suggest being explicit about the kind of gifts your children will be receiving and doing it well ahead of time. For example, a parent might say, "This year, you will be getting two gifts from me, one big one--like the bike I gave you last year--and one smaller one, like a board game or video game." (p. 56) This gives the children time to process that.
As for us adults, they suggest doing an exercise to decide what it is you are celebrating. You read the following list and number each item from one to ten according to what is most important to you. Then you plan your Christmas accordingly.
Christmas is a time to:
*Be a peacemaker in family and world.
*Enjoy being with immediate family.
*Create a beautiful home environment.
*Celebrate the birth of Christ.
*Exchange gifts with family and friends.
*Go to parties and entertain.
*Help those who are less fortunate.
*Strengthen bonds with relatives.
*Strengthen my church community.
*Be relaxed and renewed.
I did this with my husband and it was interesting to see what we both came up with.
So how am I going to do Christmas differently, after reading this book? I'm still not sure but I think it will involve cutting back more on gifts and recruiting my husband and children to help more. And maybe I will have to do just a tiny bit more planning in November so I don't feel like the deer in the headlights in December. And I'm going to read this book again next November so I remind myself of what I want Christmas to be like.
Because there are four birthdays in our family during December (two boys and two in-laws), I have tried to do a lot of my shopping in November so I don't get completely overwhelmed. But this year I rebelled and worked on other projects. Now I'm paying for it and it's a little stressful.
But I don't really want Christmas to take over November as well as December so how do I solve this problem? Hoping for a few ideas, I recently read Unplug the Christmas Machine: A Complete Guide to Putting Love and Joy Back into the Season by Jo Robinson and Jean Coppock Staeheli. It's an older book, published in 1991. It had some interesting ideas.
First of all, they define the Christmas Machine as the commercialism in the holiday which started ramping up shortly after World War I. If you're a Little House on the Prairie fan, you know that their Christmas was very simple. The little girls got a piece of candy, a tin drinking cup, a penny, and an orange. This was actually a challenge for their parents to provide because they lived so far from town and the weather was bad, not to mention what they could afford. I have to say, I wouldn't mind having such a simple Christmas although I'm not really longing for the Little House lifestyle.
How do I help my children ramp down their expectations? This book claims that what children really want at Christmas is four things:
1. Relaxed time with their families
2. Realistic expectations about gifts
3. Evenly paced holiday season (not having everything happen on Christmas morning)
4. Reliable family traditions
They ask you to think about how much time you spend with your children in December, excluding Christmas and Christmas Eve, compared with the rest of the year. Is it more or less? They suggest pacing your traditions so that predictable events happen through the month of December. I feel like we do reasonably well with that: decorating the tree near the beginning of the month, making gingerbread houses halfway through the month, etc. I really don't think I go overboard in decorating, baking, etc. And I don't think I go overboard with gifts either, but I still want to simplify more.
They suggest being explicit about the kind of gifts your children will be receiving and doing it well ahead of time. For example, a parent might say, "This year, you will be getting two gifts from me, one big one--like the bike I gave you last year--and one smaller one, like a board game or video game." (p. 56) This gives the children time to process that.
As for us adults, they suggest doing an exercise to decide what it is you are celebrating. You read the following list and number each item from one to ten according to what is most important to you. Then you plan your Christmas accordingly.
Christmas is a time to:
*Be a peacemaker in family and world.
*Enjoy being with immediate family.
*Create a beautiful home environment.
*Celebrate the birth of Christ.
*Exchange gifts with family and friends.
*Go to parties and entertain.
*Help those who are less fortunate.
*Strengthen bonds with relatives.
*Strengthen my church community.
*Be relaxed and renewed.
I did this with my husband and it was interesting to see what we both came up with.
So how am I going to do Christmas differently, after reading this book? I'm still not sure but I think it will involve cutting back more on gifts and recruiting my husband and children to help more. And maybe I will have to do just a tiny bit more planning in November so I don't feel like the deer in the headlights in December. And I'm going to read this book again next November so I remind myself of what I want Christmas to be like.
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