Gaining Weight

When my oldest child was just a few years old, a long time ago in the early 1990's, I read a book called Getting Your Child to Eat: But Not Too Much by Ellyn Satter.  It was really helpful.  If I remember right, the basic philosophy is that your job is to provide the food at appropriate times (what and when) and your child's job is to eat what they need (how much).  You don't need to make a special meal just for them.  You just make sure that snacks aren't too accessible and you don't make it a power struggle, and the child will eventually eat.

This philosophy served me well for a long time.  My first seven children are not picky eaters and they eat well-rounded diets--at least while they're at my house.  I don't know how they do when they're on their own!  They are normal weights and heights and very healthy.  I wish I could take more credit for that but I can't.

Then I had Mindy and Camille.  They both have eating issues caused by problems at birth.  I'll talk about Camille some other time.

Mindy was an IUGR (Intra-Uterine Growth Retardation) baby, born at 4.5 lbs full-term--they didn't know why she was so small.  She also had a tumor on her tailbone that had to be removed and before she came home from the hospital and she developed pyloric stenosis which is a blockage between your stomach and intestines.  Fortunately the tumor was benign and the pyloric stenosis was fixed quickly.  When she finally came home after four weeks in the hospital, I was ready to help that baby grow!

She did eat and grow, but very slowly.  Now she's 11 and we are still trying to help her grow.  She is below the growth chart (less than 1st percentile) for her age.  I have taken her to the gastroenterologist and he tested her for numerous diseases.  But we haven't found anything and his conclusion is that we just need to get her to eat more calories.  So that is my goal!  Still!  But it is incredibly difficult to get a child to gain weight who is a little picky, who doesn't like to fill her stomach too full, and doesn't like most treats.  Once for dessert, I asked her, "Do you want a brownie or a piece of watermelon?"  She chose the watermelon and she does every time.  She hardly ever wants dessert--not ice cream, not cake, not pie, not anything.

Understanding that I really want her to eat and like all kinds of healthy foods and I want mealtime to be enjoyable and not stressful or a power struggle, here is my current strategy:

Serve her breakfast, lunch, and dinner the way I always do for my whole family.  Don't worry about how much Mindy eats.  She serves herself and she just has to eat what she takes.  Between meals, give her a high calorie snack.  In the morning, it's a can of Pediasure (240 calories) before she goes to school.  After school, she gets a package of 2 Swiss Rolls (Little Debbie snack which is one of the few treats she will eat).  (270 calories).  Then after dinner, she has to drink one cup of whole chocolate milk (220 calories).  Last night I had her eat some potato chips too--she loves chips.  I won't say she loves the Pediasure or chocolate milk, but I approach it like it's medicine.  She just has to drink it whether she wants to or not.

Here she is with her brother who is about 12 years older than she is.

I've been doing this for a long time but my theory is that I haven't been consistent enough.  It is really hard to be consistent all the time:  weekends, holidays and school vacations mess me up.  Keeping the right food in stock is also hard.  It's a challenge.  But I'm determined.  I'm going to weigh her at the end of October and if she hasn't gained a couple of pounds, we'll visit the endocrinologist.

Here is a more recent picture with a Viking hat balloon creation made by her brother.