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Happy Anniversary

Today is my anniversary!  Scott and I have been married for 28 years.  We went out to lunch together today and then on Saturday we'll do something in the evening.  Most years we go away for an overnight trip but this year we felt like we had too many things going on, including my son's graduation from BYU.  I feel very fortunate that I have been happily married all these years.  As I watch my children get married in their early 20's, I think about what a leap of faith it is to marry someone and form a family.  My husband and I were pretty young and clueless when we got married but somehow we have made it work.

A picture from before we were engaged but after Scott proposed.

When marriage doesn't happen, things can go really badly, especially for the children.  This morning I read a very sad article in the newspaper about a homeless man named Justin who died on the streets of Salt Lake City.  He was only 38 years old.  It's a sad story from the beginning of his life to the end.  He was born to a teenager--14 1/2 years old--who kept him. There was no mention of his father anywhere in the article.  He was raised mostly by his grandmother when his mother couldn't do it.  His mother had boyfriends who abused him.  Eventually he gave up on life and succumbed to his alcohol addiction and depression.  People tried to help him overcome his missteps in life but it didn't work.  I can't help wonder what would have changed for him if he had had functional parents who were married.

Last week I read a book called An Invisible Thread.  It's written by a woman who befriended a little boy who was panhandling on the streets of New York City at the age of 11.  She didn't formally adopt him but she became like a second mother to him since his own mother and father--who were never married--were doing such a lousy job.  Besides this woman, he had no structure in his life, no one who cared where he was at any time of the day or night, no one to feed him, wash his clothes, tell him to go to school. His whole family was consumed by drug addiction and all the dysfunction that comes with that.  He could have very easily been like Justin but he overcame his very sad beginnings and has created a much happier life.

Reading these stories helps me realize how much I owe to my own parents, and their parents, and their parents, and so on.  Every day they made good choices like staying with their spouse, supporting their children, earning a living despite challenges that did not make it easy.  They got married and stayed married.  They made sure their children went to school and they worked at jobs so they could feed and clothe them.  They stayed away from drugs and alcohol. They didn't abuse their spouses or children as far as I know. Those responsible behaviors influence generations and keep society strong.
Our official engagement picture that we used on our announcements
I should also give credit for my strong family roots to our religious faith that strongly encourages marriage and children within those bonds and discourages drug and alcohol.

So here's to marriage!  It's not always easy but I really believe it's the best way to raise children and to find a lot of happiness.  I wish everyone could have that blessing in their lives.

This picture has faded badly from hanging on our wall.  Maybe I can get it fixed.



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