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Some Advice for My Younger Self

Yesterday was my birthday!  It was a good day with my husband working hard to make it a nice day for me.  The weather was surprisingly cold and rainy but my house was warm.  I enjoy many, many blessings and I frequently wonder why I have been given so much.

Yesterday I thought about a past birthday from 22 years ago which happens to be an historically significant day.  That day--September 23, 1995--was the day that the president of our church read the brand-new "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" at a conference for the women of our church.  It is a much-needed document on what we believe about families and how important they are.  At the time it didn't seem that significant but as families become less and less meaningful to the world and society continues to deteriorate, it seems prescient.

This is a picture we took right around my birthday in 1993 right before Scott had a ruptured appendix--another very stressful time in my life.

But I wasn't really thinking about the significance of this document at that time because I was too busy feeling overwhelmed about my own little family.  It was one of the most stressful times of my life.  My husband was trying to finish up his Ph.D. to the satisfaction of his graduate advisor in time for us to move to Maryland by the end of September and was working around the clock, literally, to finish.  I was trying to pack up our household, trying to move as cheaply as possible, and take care of our three little boys, ages 5, 2, and 9 months.  And then I found out that I was unexpectedly pregnant.  I should have been happier about this news than I was but mostly I felt completely overwhelmed.  This new baby would be born 17 months after his brother and I wasn't sure if I could handle it.  There were a lot of unknowns in my life at the time.  I look back at the pictures of this time and they don't reflect the stress I was feeling but it was definitely there.

Love my garage sale outfit.  It was extremely comfortable and I wore it a lot in the summer.
The happy ending of the story is that I had my baby the following May and we named him Lincoln.  He was actually my happiest and most content baby and everything worked out just fine.  There were challenging moments but it was okay.  He is a wonderful addition to our family and has been good friends with his brother closest to him in age for his whole life.  If I could go back and change anything, I would only change my attitude.

My four very cute and sweet little boys.  This picture has unfortunately had some abuse.

This picture was taken in 1997 in front of the Washginton, DC LDS temple which is a beautiful structure and can't be seen very well in this picture. I made Lincoln's outfit and he wore it without too much complaining. 

If I could talk to that younger version of myself from 22 years ago, I would tell her to have greater faith.  I would give her some advice from the president of our church at that time, Gordon B. Hinckley:

A watercolor illustration of the sun over mountains with the quote, “It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith."

That's advice I could use now too.

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