Skip to main content

A Clear Answer

The clearest answer I've ever received to a prayer happened in relation to my kidney donation.  Here's how it happened.

After I qualified to become a kidney donor, Camille and I became part of a chain that had 9 donors and 9 recipients. The surgeries were all scheduled to happen within a few days of each other starting May 24. But then Camille got a cold. They decided she was too sick and sent us home. I felt relieved we had a few more weeks to prepare.

Our son David was coming home from his mission on May 31st and this was an event I did not want to miss. He had been gone for more than 2 years and we were so excited to see him and celebrate the successful completion of his mission. 

Dropping off David at the MTC


So I was very unhappy to get a phone call the next afternoon from the transplant team. They had decided to go ahead with all the other donations and transplants and do Camille's later. They wanted me to donate my kidney on the exact day David was coming home--May 31st.

I was SO FRUSTRATED!  I was completely willing to donate on any other day. My donor advocate  told me that sometimes you have to miss important events in your children's lives, like soccer games. She obviously didn't get it--this was definitely not the equivalent of a soccer game. After the phone call, I angrily argued with the transplant team in my head for a couple of hours telling them how important this was to me.

Finally, I decided that I was going to tell them I couldn't donate on that day. What was so hard about delaying it another day or two? Then I decided to pray about it. This decision would affect a lot of people. I wanted a confirmation that this was the right thing to do and get a feeling of peace.

That's not what happened. The entire time I was praying about changing the date of the surgery, the word NO kept coming into my mind.  As in NO, I should not delay the surgery. NO, I should not do what I wanted to do. It was not an audible voice but it felt like a really loud thought, one I couldn't miss.

It was definitely not the answer I wanted, but it was a very easy answer to recognize. I needed to give up what I wanted for what God wanted. So the next day, I told them I would do it on May 31st.  It was a lot easier knowing that was what God wanted me to do.



The day before my donation...
The day before my donation was Memorial Day and we hiked the Y, as per our tradition

Early on the morning of May 31st, Scott and I drove to the University of Utah hospital and I donated my kidney. I had this secret very unrealistic hope that maybe I would recover so quickly that I could go to the airport that night with the rest of the family! After surgery, it became obvious there was no way that was going to happen. Meanwhile my kidney was flown to New Jersey and transplanted in my recipient.

That night, after Scott picked up David at the airport, they came to see me at the hospital. They showed up at the exact moment I was feeling maximum pain from some air that had been pumped into my abdomen during the surgery and was reflecting in my shoulder. I was literally writhing in pain. Fortunately they located a heating pad and that helped a lot.

Scott brought David up the next day to spend some time with me when I was feeling better and we had a few good visits during my hospital stay of several days talking about his mission. And I recovered enough to go to church not quite 2 weeks later to hear his homecoming talk.


That decision actually turned out really well for our family. During my surgery and recovery, Scott was there with me instead of needing to be with Camille. By the time Camille got her transplant on June 14, I was feeling better and I was able to give her the support she needed in the hospital. Scott was even able to go on the Scout bike trip planned that he was in charge of and had been planning for months, a few days after Camille's transplant. It all worked out. And I learned to trust God more. 

What if God's way is always better even if we don't like it at first?  Sometimes I wonder if there have been other times I should have asked God what his opinion was, but I didn't.  Maybe He has an opinion more often than I realize and I just need to ask.  I don't want to meet God at the end of my life and find out I could have saved myself a lot of pain if only I had found out what He wanted me to do.



We celebrated Lincoln's birthday a few days early since I was supposed to be in the hospital on his birthday originally.

A video of Camille shortly before the transplant




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Our Cousin Drew

 This last week, my brother and his wife lost a very precious son, just 13 years old. He collapsed while running with a cross-country team and passed away before he could be revived. Everyone that knew Drew is broken-hearted at this loss. He was the happiest, most agreeable kid we knew. I remember him being at my house without anyone close to his age to hang out with, so he found our Duplo blocks and started building even though it is a toy that boys his age don't usually enjoy. He was so content. He didn't complain that I ever remember. His mother always called him the perfect child. He will leave a big hole in not only his immediate family but our extended family as well.  Here is a poem my aunt shared that seems fitting: Leave Taking How I would have liked to wave goodbye  and watch until you turned and smiled and disappeared on the horizon. You who taught me to dance  and let me teach you,  who laughed at my stories  and winked at me when I was sad. I can  just see you trav
Post a Comment
Read more

Remembering Drew

 This weekend we celebrated Drew's life. On Thursday night, we gathered as an extended family and had a dinner then sat in a big circle and talked about our memories of him. I took some notes and here is what people said. Grandpa (Gary Hansen):  The last time we saw Drew was last week on the 4th. I remember all the cousins on the trampoline, bouncing up and down and playing basketball. Grandma (Susan Hansen):  I asked Drew to come over last winter to teach my Activity Day boys how to make origami stars. He was very patient in working with them even though they were pretty clueless. Eventually they all went home happily with their stars. Paula: This last winter we invited Bruce and Michelle over for dinner and we didn't have anyone his age for him to hang out with. I remember that Drew found the Duplo blocks on his own and played with them all by himself, quite cheerfully entertaining himself. I asked him if he wanted to play with a different toy--maybe something more sophistica
Post a Comment
Read more

Drew's Funeral

Yesterday was the viewing for Drew and then today was the funeral. There were a LOT of people at the viewing. Bruce and Michelle greeted people for almost four hours yesterday and then again this morning before the funeral. Bruce said that if weren't for Drew's death, it would be the best week of his life with so much love being shown to them. Friday actually began with a family run in Drew's honor. We started at a church by the new Lindon temple and ran to Bruce and Michelle's house with breakfast following. Friday night was the viewing. There was a very nice display of all things Drew. This was one of the pictures displayed and I recognized someone I know: We stood in line and the paramedics who worked on Drew stood in line behind us so we got to talk to them. Here's a fun fact:  They cover both Orem and Vineyard but Vineyard gets a lot more 911 calls than Orem per capita. It's a younger population and they are quicker to call. They said it's hard when the
Post a Comment
Read more