Strengthening Marriage Part 3

 

This class was all about being financially successful in your marriage. Jeff Hill does a lot of research into family finances and teaches a BYU class on it--some 1200 students a year. Here are some ideas he shared:

1.  Being a wise financial steward is at the heart of the gospel. We should use our financial resources to bless God's children.

He took a survey of our class and what their main financial regrets were.

A few of these financial regrets were big red flags in that there was a big loss of trust. Dr. Hill compared financial infidelity to sexual infidelity. When couples do things like loaning money or spending lots of money without consulting their spouse, that's a big problem.  The loss of trust is huge and can cause a marriage to fall apart. He recommends coming up with a dollar amount over which you never spend without consulting with the spouse.

Conversations about money can be stressful for some people:

Why are these conversations stressful?  We come to marriage with different values and attitudes towards money.

2.  Savers vs. spenders can be a big challenge. Saving more at the beginning of your marriage is pretty important. In addition, some people actually need to be encouraged to spend money when they are older and they have plenty.  His wife and he are going on a trip to Hawaii and the place they are going to stay is more money than he likes to spend but they have the money and he has decided to consecrate it for their relationship. Money used wisely can strengthen your marriage. Used unwisely it can destroy marriages.

6.  He told us that debt should only be for NECESSARY things like a modest house you can afford, transportation, and education that leads to a job that can repay the debt.

7.  His plan for replacing old cars is to make a car payment into a savings account every month. Then when you need the new car, you have the cash so you don't have to take out a loan. Several years ago they needed to replace a car. They had $25K in savings to buy a new one. They looked at new cars and finally realized that they really wanted a Lexus which was a very quiet car and good for his wife's sensory issues. But they didn't have enough money for a new Lexus so they decided to wait a few years until they had the money saved. But he realized he could buy a used Lexus right now. He found one up in Rexburg so he planned a surprise trip there for Valentine's Day and surprised his wife with the car--she was really happy about it. They had already decided to purchase it in a few years so I guess that made it okay to buy without consulting her.

He recommends never making a major decision when you are HALT:  Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.

After his first wife died, he said he spent about $60K more that year because he was constantly all of those things.

He recommends before you make a major purchase:  eat a good meal, pray, sleep on it, pray again, then decide.

8.  Trust is huge in marriage and finances are no different.

9.  He recommends both spouses being involved in the finances.

10.  He recommends having all assets in common and being totally open.

He recommends spending money on that which we truly value.

11. Invest money in your marriage:

12.  Mad money:

12.  Here are the basics: