For Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day and I've been thinking about the gifts my mother gave me. My mother would be the first to tell you she is not perfect. She has probably already written her funeral eulogy because she is determined that no one think that she is better than she is. The reality is no mother is perfect. But I'm pretty sure my mother does not give herself enough credit for the good things she has done for her children. She has given me many gifts but here are four:

1.  Forthright 

The dictionary defines "forthright" as being straightforward and honest. My mother has always been completely honest. If she does not feel or think something, she will not say it.  This means I can always trust her to give me her honest opinion when I ask for it, even if I don't always want to hear it. She is also good at keeping her mouth shut when appropriate but she's not going to say something she doesn't believe--she's not a pretender and doesn't feel a need to appear like someone she's not. My husband and children would probably agree that's how I am too, an attribute I share with most, if not all, of my siblings. In fact, more than one of my relatives is probably fact-checking this post as they read it.

2.  Frugal

Money was a scarce resource when I was growing up.  When I was a small child, my dad went to grad school for four years and then it took a while for him to get well established in his career. The national economy really struggled during the 70's and 80's with high inflation and high interest rates. Providing the necessities of life for 11 children was a challenge and frugality was essential. My mother did her part by making thousands of home-cooked meals, gardening, sewing clothes as needed, and canning. She taught her children piano lessons and earned a little extra money teaching lessons to other children. My mother made a lot of my dresses when I was growing up. I frequently wished my parents had more money but I also felt empowered to earn money for myself in various ways. I also learned the skills I needed to live frugally when my husband was a grad student and still getting established in his career. I honestly didn't know any other way to live.

While they were frugal, my parents made sacrifices so they could pay for things they considered important. I wanted to take violin lessons which are never cheap and they made that happen, despite the cost. They bought me a nice bow and violin. When I got a driver's license, my mother frequently shared the car with me so that I could get to the places I needed to go. 

When I got married, money was still pretty tight so my mother made my wedding dress and the food for my reception. They also paid for my invitations and flowers and some pictures. The reception was at my aunt's house. The Utah portion of the event cost much less than $1000 in 1989 including a new suit for my father. While I wished my wedding had been a little more luxurious, I am grateful that my parents set an example for me of living within their means and giving me what they could afford.

My parents have more money now but my mother is not materialistic and does not like to spend it. Money is not her goal in life.

3.  Family-oriented

My mother has chosen to make her family the focal point of her life. She could have chosen to have a career outside her home, but she decided to stay home with her children and make sure we had the stability and supervision we needed. Our culture really emphasizes individualism and doing whatever makes you happy but my mother felt a strong sense of duty to have children and to be home with them even if she would have enjoyed doing other things.

Despite the limited budget, she was very good at preparing meals for us and making sure we got to school and other places we needed to go. When I came home from babysitting or doing other activities, she always had food saved for me for whatever meal I missed.

She and my father prioritized family vacations even though it usually meant camping since that's what they could afford. I think we went camping just about every summer of my life. In the summer of 1984, we went camping near Cedar Breaks Monument even though my mother was 9 months pregnant and about to deliver my sister Heidi. Every other summer, we took long road trips to visit relatives in California where my parents grew up. My parents continue to prioritize family reunions every other summer at significant cost to themselves.

When my brother lost his wife shortly after she delivered their 3rd child, my mother took care of the new baby for a long time until my brother felt like he could do it. Taking care of a tiny newborn 24 hours a day is not easy when you are in your 60's but my mother did it. She also helped my brother care for his children for a lot of years while he lived with my parents until he moved out a few years ago even though it was definitely not easy. It was hard to watch how much my mother had to do during that time but she was setting a good example for me of making her family a priority.

Great-grandma Lorana Smith Broadbent, her son Grandpa Francis Broadbent, Susan Hansen, and Paula Hansen

She has really helped my family by teaching my children piano lessons and by babysitting for me whenever I have asked. I have seen that good example and hope to be that same kind of mother for my own children.

4.  Faithful

The attribute I value the most about my mother is her faithfulness to the gospel of Jesus Christ. There is no question in my mind about her dedication and her desire to live true to the gospel. For example, when I was a child, there was never any question about whether we would be going to church on Sunday. She has always honored the Sabbath.

She fulfilled her callings faithfully no matter what she was called to: Relief Society president, Primary president, Young Women's president, counselor and teacher in those organizations, Cub Scout leader, etc. She also played the piano and organ a lot. She is currently an Activity Days leader and does her ministering faithfully. 

When we were children, my parents had family home evening almost every single week and we had family scripture study most mornings. We had family council most Sunday afternoons complete with candy bars for people who had done their jobs. She also read to us from the personal histories of her ancestors.

A few years ago, my parents served a mission in the Boston, Massachusetts area. That was a highlight for them and they continue to cherish the friends and memories they made as they tried to help people come closer to Christ.

Both my parents have strong testimonies of the gospel of Jesus Christ and their fondest wish is for their children and grandchildren to also be strong in their testimonies.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom! Thank you for all the good gifts you gave me.

Love, Paula