NOTE: I wrote this post a long time ago (10 years ago at least) and never posted it. However, it seems like it might be helpful for someone out there so I'm going to publish it. With my children almost all grown up, the only people practicing at my house currently are the parents (and we practice without being reminded!). A few of my children still play the piano and organ, mostly for church. My daughter plays her violin in a community orchestra as I also do. Even though some of my adult children are not playing their instruments much, I am glad we did this with our children and I think it helped them learn some valuable lessons.
I was a music major in college (my choice!) and I never enjoyed practicing. I did it because I had to. If someone asked me if I would rather practice the violin or read a book, I would pick reading every single time. In fact, I preferred doing homework to practicing. The thing that frustrated me about practicing was that I was NEVER done. I was supposed to practice three hours a day. If I practiced one day or even if I didn't, I still had to practice the same amount the next day. It felt relentless. It also required a huge amount of concentration to make the most of that time.
You're probably wondering why I majored in music. Truthfully, I am not completely sure but I don't regret doing it. I think I did it because it seemed like the right thing to do at the time and I figured I could change my mind later. I met my husband in the music program and I have a lot of good memories playing great music in lots of different orchestras. Music gives my life an added dimension. Another reason I'm glad I did is because this is something I can do with my children, something we have in common.
So, how do you get children to practice? Here are some ideas that have worked for me:
1. Practice in the morning before school. I heard of a teacher who would only take students who promised to practice in the morning. Not all of my children practice in the morning (the older ones practice after school) but it is so much easier to get it done then. I really wish my older children would practice in the morning but when school starts really early, it's pretty hard to get it done then.
2. Have a scheduled time to practice, preferably the same time every day. I think this is one of the reasons that morning practice is so effective. There are fewer conflicts. My experience is that if you really want to get ANYTHING done, you should do it in the morning before life gets in the way.
3. Plan on helping your children practice until they are ages 10-12. You may not have to be sitting there the whole time, but the more you help, the more effective their practice time will be. I only wish I had taken more time to practice with my children over the years. The older ones didn't get as much time because I was so busy with the younger children. And frankly, it doesn't feel that productive to supervise--but it pays huge dividends.
4. Start young. I have started all of my children on the piano when they were in kindergarten (except for one I started on violin) and they just grew up with this expectation that practicing was part of their day. Younger children don't progress as quickly and they need constant supervision but starting young means that you are more advanced when your life starts getting busier with other activities. Almost all of our children have played two musical instruments. We had a family culture and expectation that practicing is part of life.
5. The teacher can make a BIG difference. Sometimes a child will start complaining about their practicing and when it becomes too much of a battle, something will have to be changed. Frequently, changing the teacher can help. This really helped a few of my children. In one case, we changed from piano to organ and that was a really good thing.
6. Get the best teacher you can afford. If you know how to play an instrument, it can be tempting to think you should teach your child yourself. I myself have taught my children when they were first starting on piano and violin. However, my experience is that when I am paying someone to teach my child, I am more committed to getting the practicing done. It really helps to have a wise and experienced teacher tell your child what they need to work on. Also, some children really hate to be corrected by their parents. I had a child that absolutely hated my teaching and then practicing with them, so I had to completely back off and let the teacher handle everything.
7. Consider a different instrument. I have generally started my children on piano because it gives them such a good foundation. However, in junior high (and sometimes earlier) they have taken up another instrument. My older boys played brass and winds and really enjoyed playing in various school bands. My younger children have been doing strings. As mentioned, one changed from piano to organ and it became his unique instrument and he still plays it.
My hope with my children learning music is that they would learn self-discipline along with a really useful skill. I think it helped them be better at learning lots of things.
There are a lot of reasons to learn a musical instrument. One of my favorites is that it teaches children to do something hard. Some people have the mistaken idea that children should enjoy practicing and they should just do it because they love it. Or that some kids are talented and others are not. Some children DO have more affinity and ability but the reality is that few children like to practice and all children can learn no matter what their natural talents are and it will improve their lives. Studies show that learning a musical instrument helps you in many ways and music students do better in school. Being able to play the piano is an incredibly useful skill at church and at other times too.
I was a music major in college (my choice!) and I never enjoyed practicing. I did it because I had to. If someone asked me if I would rather practice the violin or read a book, I would pick reading every single time. In fact, I preferred doing homework to practicing. The thing that frustrated me about practicing was that I was NEVER done. I was supposed to practice three hours a day. If I practiced one day or even if I didn't, I still had to practice the same amount the next day. It felt relentless. It also required a huge amount of concentration to make the most of that time.
You're probably wondering why I majored in music. Truthfully, I am not completely sure but I don't regret doing it. I think I did it because it seemed like the right thing to do at the time and I figured I could change my mind later. I met my husband in the music program and I have a lot of good memories playing great music in lots of different orchestras. Music gives my life an added dimension. Another reason I'm glad I did is because this is something I can do with my children, something we have in common.
1. Practice in the morning before school. I heard of a teacher who would only take students who promised to practice in the morning. Not all of my children practice in the morning (the older ones practice after school) but it is so much easier to get it done then. I really wish my older children would practice in the morning but when school starts really early, it's pretty hard to get it done then.
2. Have a scheduled time to practice, preferably the same time every day. I think this is one of the reasons that morning practice is so effective. There are fewer conflicts. My experience is that if you really want to get ANYTHING done, you should do it in the morning before life gets in the way.
3. Plan on helping your children practice until they are ages 10-12. You may not have to be sitting there the whole time, but the more you help, the more effective their practice time will be. I only wish I had taken more time to practice with my children over the years. The older ones didn't get as much time because I was so busy with the younger children. And frankly, it doesn't feel that productive to supervise--but it pays huge dividends.
4. Start young. I have started all of my children on the piano when they were in kindergarten (except for one I started on violin) and they just grew up with this expectation that practicing was part of their day. Younger children don't progress as quickly and they need constant supervision but starting young means that you are more advanced when your life starts getting busier with other activities. Almost all of our children have played two musical instruments. We had a family culture and expectation that practicing is part of life.
5. The teacher can make a BIG difference. Sometimes a child will start complaining about their practicing and when it becomes too much of a battle, something will have to be changed. Frequently, changing the teacher can help. This really helped a few of my children. In one case, we changed from piano to organ and that was a really good thing.
6. Get the best teacher you can afford. If you know how to play an instrument, it can be tempting to think you should teach your child yourself. I myself have taught my children when they were first starting on piano and violin. However, my experience is that when I am paying someone to teach my child, I am more committed to getting the practicing done. It really helps to have a wise and experienced teacher tell your child what they need to work on. Also, some children really hate to be corrected by their parents. I had a child that absolutely hated my teaching and then practicing with them, so I had to completely back off and let the teacher handle everything.
7. Consider a different instrument. I have generally started my children on piano because it gives them such a good foundation. However, in junior high (and sometimes earlier) they have taken up another instrument. My older boys played brass and winds and really enjoyed playing in various school bands. My younger children have been doing strings. As mentioned, one changed from piano to organ and it became his unique instrument and he still plays it.
My hope with my children learning music is that they would learn self-discipline along with a really useful skill. I think it helped them be better at learning lots of things.
Our last recital with our last child this last spring:
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